From Boardroom to Zoom Room: Cultivating Executive Presence in Today's Workplace
Learn the essential traits to quickly master Executive Presence, balancing gravitas and emotional intelligence to handle executive meetings with ease.
Three months ago, a coaching client felt misunderstood and unappreciated by her executive team. Now she is handling larger projects and presenting to the Board. What changed? She mastered the art of Executive Presence, with some partnership from me.
What if I told you the most powerful tool in your leadership toolkit isn’t technical expertise or market insight? It’s something subtler, but more powerful.
First, what is Executive Presence? Like product sense, it can get stale without developing emerging leadership traits, per this quote from the Harvard Business Review.
In most corporate settings, [executive presence, EP] has traditionally boiled down to three attributes: gravitas, strong communication skills, and the “right” appearance.
[Today] confidence and decisiveness have not gone out of style; those are still the most-sought-after traits contributing to gravitas, which accounts for the lion’s share of EP. However, inclusiveness, in all its manifestations—respecting others, listening to learn, telegraphing authenticity—has shot onto the list of the most-valued components of all three dimensions of EP. That change reflects the new weight of diversity, equity, and inclusion in business strategy.
In summary, Executive Presence is about commanding respect without demanding it. It isn’t about:
Wearing power suits or being the loudest voice in the room
Having all the answers
Maintaining a distant, untouchable aura of authority
Adopting a new (and fake) persona
Executive presence is built on balancing confidence (gravitas) with approachability (emotional intelligence) while letting your superpowers shine through. Executive Presence is about being the best version of you. Keep reading to learn more.
Gravitas Meets Emotional Intelligence
The key to Executive Presence is balance. On one side we have Gravitas—your ability to draw people in with confidence and credibility. The other side has Emotional Intelligence—your capacity to recognize, understand, manage, and effectively navigate emotions in yourself and others.
The qualities that enable this balance include the following:
Know Your Stuff: Be prepared. I recommend clients review materials ahead of time, anticipate questions, and have answers ready.
Speak Like You Mean It: No iffy language—be decisive. Building on point #1, be proud of your work and let your knowledge shine through.
Non-Verbal Cues: Take up space, make eye contact, and enjoy yourself. Pretend you are wearing large shoulder pads. You have your hockey kit on and you’re ready to play.
Fortunately, with Executive Presence, appearance is losing importance. I’m not saying to show up in your bunny slippers. Instead, consider your environment and how you want to be perceived.
One of my favorite traits that replaced appearance is Emotional Intelligence (EQ). EQ lets you stay calm under pressure and handle the ups and downs of a typical chaotic day in any technology company. Here’s how to dial up your EQ:
Appreciative Inquiry: Focus on what’s working, not what’s not. Tune into your emotions and your audience’s too.
Active Listening: Listen to understand, not to speak. Reframe and verify everyone is on the same page.
Practice Presence: Stay centered, especially in stressful moments. Observe the room and take ownership of your space.
You Don’t Need All A’s to Have Executive Presence
Developing Executive Presence isn’t always easy. For me, a proud introvert, it took - and still takes - practice. Here’s a simple but powerful riff for engaging with senior leaders during the meeting, courtesy of a recent Maven lightning talk:
Be Relevant: I learned data alone won’t win execs over. It’s about showing how your insights align with what matters to the top leaders.
Be Bright: Consider your energy and message. Share it with the room, be excited! Let your knowledge about the topic shine.
Be Quick: Don’t waste anyone’s time. If you have 15 minutes, take 10 and save 5 for questions. Don’t use all 15 and expect extra time for questions.
Be Gone: Once you’re done and have follow-up actions, move aside. Let the next person go. Unless you and your topic were the only items discussed, be respectful of others waiting their turn.
The secret ingredient for the first three B’s is knowing your audience. If you’ve never spoken to the Exec club before, catch up with colleagues who have. Do your research to speak their language. Ask around to discover:
Top Priorities: What keeps them awake at night? What goals are top of mind? What are areas of concern and celebration?
Connect the Dots: How does your work impact the company’s goals? How has your work contributed to the goals?
Have a Viewpoint: How many options do Execs like to see? Ensure Execs feel they have a choice, yet it should be clear where your preferences lie.
Zoom Out: ‘Be strategic’ is one of the vaguest statements around. Instead, determine what the bigger picture is. What other current and future projects does your work impact?
Incorporate the above points, as leadership isn’t just looking for a recommendation of “do this.” They value approaches that increase their impact and grow the businesses.
Surprising Onramp to Executive Presence
As described above, Executive Presence isn’t just about staying cool and having great ideas; you need to do your homework. Having insight onhand will put you in the best spot to negotiate. Yes, mastering negotiation amplifies your Executive Presence.
Negotiation is more than trading off numbers. It’s about guiding conversations and interactions intentionally. It starts before you sit down with the Execs. First, steer your internal conversation.
Before your next Exec meeting, recall the power of How and What questions. They work on others and yourself. Start by talking to yourself, just don’t do it in public... unless you have your AirPods in, then folks will think you’re on a call.
Ask yourself:
What problem do I want to solve?
What are my goals?
What interests me in the points I’m making?
What do I need to succeed?
How have I managed my emotions in similar situations before?
The answers are your source of power in negotiation. They give you knowledge and prepare you to address Execs’ questions with clarity and confidence—qualities of Executive Presence.
Congrats! You’ve just negotiated with yourself. You’ve convinced yourself of the value of your ideas.
Don’t have all the answers lined up to win the negotiation with yourself? Here’s how to get started:
Identify the Problem: Write down the points you are trying to achieve.
Assess the Needs: Consider both tangible (like resources) and intangible (like autonomy or respect) factors.
Boost your Power: Recall past wins to fuel your self-assurance.
When you’re clear about what you want, you feel more at ease and project increased confidence during a discussion.
Hidden Power of Collaboration Over Conflict
The image below highlights five conflict styles from a Chief session on ‘Negotiating for Yourself’.
The sweet spot? Collaboration, a balance of assertiveness and empathy (I couldn’t resist another seesaw comparison).
Why does this matter? When presenting to Execs, expect other viewpoints. Call upon your recently acquired negotiation skills. Then approach the alternatives with a mix of assertiveness and empathy to show you understand the other options while retaining strength in your approach. Be curious as the alternative might be stronger, suggesting an opportunity to learn. Throughout remain proud of your contributions.
Let’s explore the diagram further in case your company’s culture hasn’t embraced a collaborative mindset. Here is the meaning of each state:
Competing: I win, you lose. Someone outperformed the other.
Accommodating: Overly cooperative. One person is right, the other is wrong AND uncomfortable.
Avoiding: Doesn’t address the conflict. Often unassertive and uncooperative. Picture an ostrich with its head in the sand.
Compromising: Some assertiveness with cooperation. Seeking an immediate solution by splitting the difference. As Never Split the Difference teaches, a 50/50 split is not the desired outcome.
Collaborating: Assertive and cooperative. Work with the other person to find a true win-win solution by considering both individuals’ causes and needs.
You might encounter any - or all - of these styles during your session with the Execs. Be prepared to rise above the fray by guiding the discussion through negotiation and seeking the win-win option that collaboration delivers.
What if a few people in the room are being difficult? Don’t stoop to their level. Recall the power of asking questions. Try these:
“Tell me more about…”
“What’s your biggest concern?”
“What would it take for you to support this?”
For example, this question, “You seem concerned. Can you tell me more about what is concerning you?” diffuses tension and directs the conflict to a more productive path.
Questions show curiosity, build rapport, and position you as thoughtful, not antagonistic. They are not just for information gathering. In tricky situations, questions can help build trust, show genuine interest, and uncover hidden opportunities for collaboration over conflict.
Master the Balance between “I” and “We”
Product Management is a team sport. You always work with others. As a result, I’m a “we” person. However, I’ve known leaders who find “we” confusing. They want to know exactly what the speaker contributed to the project.
When displaying your Executive Presence, be cautious and use a balance of “I” and “We” to accommodate the leaders’ preferences. Instead of: “We worked hard on this project.” Try: “I’m proud to have led team ABC to success.” It’s still a bit snarky, but it balances the focus on your contributions as part of the larger team.
What if you’re like me and struggle with self-promotion? Include these exercises in preparation for your next Exec meeting.
Practice “I” Statements: Use “I led,” “I initiated,” “I drove.” All showcase your involvement in a team-based initiative.
Quantify Impact: Build on #1 by adding metrics. This makes contributions more tangible and memorable.
Share Credit: Wrap up #1 and #2 by celebrating your team and highlighting your role.
Still feel awkward? Go back to our friend curiosity and the research you did into the meeting participants. Understanding each attendee’s motivations lets you be more specific in your messaging. When someone hears their point of view mentioned, their ears will perk up and they’ll see you as a like-minded soul.
In all cases, be proud of your accomplishments. Remember to celebrate yourself when celebrating your team and teamwork.
The Executive Presence Challenge
This week, try these three exercises:
In every meeting, ask one powerful question.
Use the "Be Prepared, Be Bright, Be Quick, Be Gone" mantra in an executive meeting.
Practice balancing “I” and “We” in your communication.
What’s your next step to develop your Executive Presence? It could be reaching out to me to partner on some practice. Just drop me a comment to schedule a time.
p.s. The new People-First Leadership logo, featuring connected dots in the "O" of People, reflects key leadership traits, including pattern recognition and alignment that apply to Product people and beyond. Lancaster recommends checking it out.
